


The Scars We Bear

by Fantasy_elf



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman (Movies - Nolan), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bullying, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Friendship, High School, Jealousy, Obsession, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-31 08:04:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10895154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fantasy_elf/pseuds/Fantasy_elf
Summary: No one is born evil. It is a fact many of us tend to forget. No one is born a monster, they are 'made'. I knew from the moment I met him, all those years ago, that he'd change my life forever. Boy, I was right. For better or worse, I'm not sure anymore. All I knew was that he needed me, in a strange twisted sense he was me as I was him... and he would never let me go. JokerxOC





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note – Hello all, welcome to my new story. This one has been bugging me for a few weeks and I've started reading some other fan fictions again, after a while of being away. This is a JokerxOC story. This is the first chapter so I shall see what the response is from you lovely people and then will go from there.
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Prologue  
\---

I stood there in the empty lobby of the Gotham City Police Department. There was no sound but the occasional soft drips of the water that fell from my coat onto the tiled floor beneath my feet. The rain outside blasted against the windows, demanding to get in; a wild torrent to match the turmoil that I was feeling in that very moment. I shivered, drenched and cold. My clothes clung to me as I stared around the area, not a person was in sight save the guy at the main desk who watched me with something in his eyes...

Uncertainty. Mistrust... But most of all pity.

Why was I here? I glanced around the area, seeing but not really believing I had brought myself to do this. What madness drove me here was beyond me, and yet here I stood. My anxiety was rocket high through the ceiling. I tried to make myself looks small, huddling back against the nearby wall. Hoping to just get this task over and done with. I didn't want to be here. I shouldn't be here. I wanted to go home!

''Miss Page.'' A voice, masculine and gentle drew my attention from my reverie.

Through the dripping rat tails that were my fringe I turned as the familiar face of Jim Gordon appeared at a nearby doorway to my right.

I nodded to him, barely finding my voice as I shuddered both with chills and unease.

'' Commissioner.''

The newly appointed Commissioner of Gotham City held open the door and indicated for me to follow him.

''Come this way.''

I followed him into the room. It was sparse but elegant, consisting of a desk, a file cabinet, a couple of chairs and the odd framed award hanging on the wall. I took it all in, not daring to bring my eyes to his wise grey ones, knowing that they followed me. Assessed every move I made. He wanted answers from me.

He gestured towards a chair before the desk. ''Take a seat. Can I get you anything? A coffee?''

I shook my head. '' No thank you.''

I slowly slid into the offered chair, grasping my arms to me for warmth. I stared at the floor, but then a hand appeared offering me a towel. I looked up at the Commissioner and took it with a small smile.

He lowered into his own seat, his focus on me, his eyes somewhat shadowed with worry, ''You understand why you are here. Yes?'' He asked me gently.

I nodded, my hands beginning to tremble around the towel I held. I drew it up to my hair, dabbing at it lightly, giving my hands something to do. What I really wanted to do was go home, but that line had been crossed now. There was no turning back.

The Commissioner must have noticed my inner struggle, because he leaned forward slightly, placing his clasped hands before him on the table.

'' I can understand this is difficult for you. Trust me, if there was any alternative we could have done that did not include your involvement, then we would have done it. But unfortunately, there is no one else who can help us. Only you... '' his voice trailed off, expectant.

''I know.'' I whispered to him, my eyes closing for a brief moment. Preparing myself for what I was about to do, but also about what would soon follow after. Every action had a reaction. Every decision had a price to pay.

'' Miss Page, before we start, Whatever information you tell us will be of great use.'' My silence urged him on to say, ''Know that we will help you in whatever way we can. We can place you under surveillance...protect you.''

My eyes dropped again at that and I felt a lump rise in my throat, heavy with emotion. My lips lifted into an empty smile.

Protect me? No one could protect me. Not from him. Not now.

A hand gently reached over and grasped mine, the warmth of his fingers wrapping around mine gave me the courage to look up into his wise aged face. His kind features that only showed gentleness and encouragement.

''But you must be certain you wish to do this, if we need to prosecute we will need you to stand up in court. Do you understand?'' He said.

Did I understand? Did I fully understand the meaning of what I was about to do? Of who I was about to betray? I wanted to tell Gordon I'd changed my mind. I wanted to get up and leave this building and the whole situation behind me.

But it was too late... far too late now for that. If I didn't do this now, others would suffer. I could not stand by and watch. Feelings must be pushed aside, I knew that. I must do what is right. This was not just about me. I had to do something.

''Yes.'' I lifted my chin, determination setting into my body causing me to sit up straight in my seat.

The Commissioner nodded slowly, a sparkle of admiration in his gaze from behind his spectacles.

''Very well... ''He reached into a brown folder and pulled something out from inside of it. A photograph. He slid a picture over towards me, and I instantly recognized the image on it, even before it reached me half way across the table.

A painted grinning face. Red on white. Black dangerous eyes staring out at me, surrounded by a mass of unruly green tinted hair.

'' What can you tell us about the man we arrested today?'' Gordon asked, encouraging me to start my tale.

I was far away in another place, staring at the photograph intently. Just looking at it made both my skin crawl and my chest ache with emotions I could not acknowledge. I felt an array of feelings, from anger to confusion, and pity and then finally devastating sadness.

Gordon shifted in his seat, ''He goes by the alias 'the joker'. He's the one we've been trying to find for a long time. We can find little information on him, our sources are few and minimal; which makes our job in convicting him harder work. What we do know, however, is that he is extremely dangerous, Miss Page. We must know all we can about him. I'm sure you understand.''

I nodded, still looking at the picture in my hands. Oh yes, I'd seen the carnage and horrors this one man had caused Gotham City. Unthinkable, terrible things. Things that could, and should never be forgiven. Not ever.

Yet there was an in my chest, demanding to be heard above the logical thoughts in my head.

''It's clear you are familiar with him.'' There was a slight pause before Gordon asked quietly to me, ''Who is he?''

The Joker. It was a fitting alias, almost ironic in a tragic sense. I hated it. I wanted to never hear it again. That wasn't his name. That wasn't who he was. But I knew him. I knew him like my own self and being.

'' Jack.'' I whispered it out before I could stop myself.

'' What was that?'' Commissioner Gordon leaned closer to hear me, his eyes searching me closely as I lifted my head up to finally meet his gaze.

'' His name...'' I began my story, ''...is Jack."


	2. In the Beginning

-o-o-o-

His name was Jack Napier. He was a quiet boy, and silent. He had no friends. He showed no interest in anything, not even sports or girls like the other guys. He avoided others just as much as they avoided him, but they spoke about him. I had never known of his existence until I had overheard Katherine Sherlock, the most popular girl in school, whispering amongst her friends of this 'jack' guy. After that I heard his name everywhere I went and became intrigued, if apprehensive. He was labelled as 'the freak' of the school. To me, he had simply been another student amongst the hundreds in my school. A ghost of a boy that no one knew about or cared about. Back then at the start, I did not know him, and he did not know me. Until that one day on the way to school when everything changed...

" Hey, faggot. Want some food?"

The school coach rumbled, vibrating the window of which my head was leaning against. I started in a daze out of the window, not looking forward at all to the long day ahead. I heard laughter and shifted in my seat to look around at the other students. Some were grinning at something behind us and I followed their gazes to the source of their amusement. I saw a group of three boys at the far end of the bus towards the back. They sneered and cheered each other on as one of them, the one with the ginger hair, threw a half eaten carton of yogurt at another student a few seats in front of him.

" Nice one, Devlin." Their laughter was mocking. Others around me joined in with the fray, even stooping so low as to grab their phones to record the commotion as though it was the best thing they'd seen in years.

My eyes flew to the poor soul who was the focus of their unmerciful tormenting. A male student sat before them, yogurt now staining one shoulder of his navy uniform. Pity flared in me as I took him in. The boy sat there rigid and like a statue. His hair was long and dark, pulled back into a messy ponytail. Only parts of his bangs fell forward, covering his eyes from sight, shielding his face from the onlookers that mocked him. He was pale, almost sickly looking. He said not a word, didn't even turn his head even as the boys behind him continued to throw things at him.

" Nah, he wants a sandwich, Dev! Give him a sandwich. He looks like he could do with a decent meal!" The shortest of the gang crowed with encouragement.

" What do you think, shitface?!" Ginger sneered at the lone student sat by himself by the window. "Hey! I'm talking to you, Jacky-boy." An empty bottle of water was thrown next, hitting its target with sharp aim causing the crowd around them to giggle. " You lanky streak of piss. By the looks of you, the kids in Africa eat more than you do."

" Fucking freak..."

I turned around and faced the front again, still hearing their words as the scene continued to play out. The coach journey was only twenty minutes, but it was feeling like hours. I could only imagine how the poor guy was feeling. I couldn't bring myself to turn around again. Part of me wanted to say something, to tell them to leave him alone. I wanted to stand up to them. I hated bullies, with a passion. I knew what it felt like to be ridiculed and rejected for being different. I reeled off the thoughts in my head of what to say to them. Instead, I simply sat there and did nothing. Afraid that the bullies would then turn on me in response to me defending their victim. In my mind I was a hero, in reality I was far from it.

Every word and action they did caused a sharp pain of guilt and compassion to spear through me. I pulled out my phone and plugged my headphones in, hoping to cut out their noise and pretend it wasn't happening.

As I stared out of the window watching the world flash by outside I felt my throat tighten and tears burn at the corners of my eyes.

I learned something very vital about myself in that moment. Something I disliked more than the disgusting humans who shouted from behind me.

I was a coward.

-o-o-o-  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
-o-o-o-

The day went by quickly. Lessons blurred into one another. By the time lunch arrived I was ready to go home. After that, it was English, one of my worst subjects. Maths was next. I scoured the shelves of the school library. The summer holidays was approaching fast and I needed books for my revision for my exams. I hated school, with a passion. I hated the dull lessons, the poor quality of the teachers and most of all the swarms of adolescent morons that attended with me. I had begged my parents to allow me to be homeschooled a year or so ago, but was refused under the idea that 'school was good for me'. I hated all of it, none of it interested me.

My hand drifted over a copy of Emily Brontes Wuthering Heights and I drew it from the shelf. I didn't need it, but it was one of my favourite books. The story between Catherine and Heathcliff was tragic and unbearably beautiful.

I gave a wistful sigh, already looking forward to starting the first chapter even though i'd read it so many times before.

"Wow, that was a depressing sigh, Jenny. Did someone die?" A familiar voice whispered from beside me and I turned to see my long term friend of seven years, Jessie, next to me. She was leant against a shelf with a random book in one of her hands and her phone in the other. To the librarian at the desk she might have looked to be reading, but up close she was clearly playing on a game.

I smiled at her, glancing back at the desk to check if the woman behind it was looking at us. She wasn't.

"No, I'm just slowly dying of boredom." I said to Jessie, watching her neatly painted pink nails flick and tap at the phone screen as though her life depended on it. "How long until next period?"

" Five minutes." She answered not even looking up to me. " Maths right?"

" Yeah." I sighed again, clutching the book to my chest like it was the only thing keeping me sane and alive. " What do you have planned for the holidays? Anything good?"

"We're going away for two weeks to Greece with my parents and brother." Jessie said, "What about you?"

I shook my head, "Nothing much planned here. Just going to relax and get ready for the exams."

" You should ask Jason around to keep you company. You know how much he's dying to spend some time with you."

I rolled my eyes at her. " Jason is a friend, I've known him since kindergarten. It's not like that between us, I've already told you." I tried to explain to her. I had told her so many times before but she never listened. She was adamant there was something more to the friendship Jason and I had together.

"Mhm." It was murmured from her and I knew she did not believe me, like she knew something that I did not. "If you say so, babe. Try telling Jason that."

I frowned at that, "What do you mean by that?" I asked her, genuinely confused. Was she trying to indicate that Jason liked me more than a friend? I didn't know whether to feel flattered or uneasy about the idea.

My companion swore, her arms flying around suddenly in annoyance, clearly having lost on her game. She ran a hand through her immaculate long blonde hair and I couldn't help but stare at her, admiring her effortless looks. She was beyond pretty. Her body curvy and slender. I silently wished I looked like her. Having struggled with mental health issues and an eating disorder just over a year ago I was still having difficulty with my self-esteem and putting some weight on. Where Jessie was athletic and feminine, I was still thin and short. Where she was fair and attractive like a model, I was dark haired and average looking.

" You're doing it again, Jen."

I broke out of my trance and looked at her. "What?"

"I know that look." She chided me softly, "I've seen it before and I don't like it. There is nothing wrong with you. Stop measuring yourself against others all the time."

I looked away with embarrassment causing heat to rise into my cheeks. She knew me so well. Over the years Jessie had been a best friend and my rock during my darkest times. She knew most of my weaknesses, my secrets and my fears. I treasured her friendship more than words could say. She, Jason and I were like the three musketeers.

"Sorry, I can't help it."

Just as I was about to try and change the subject the bell sounded loudly, startling me.

" Ugh, shoot me now." Jessie said, "I am so not looking forward to this, Mr Charleston can be such a dick. Did you do your homework for him?"

I shook my head.

" Me neither," she said. "He's going to be in such a mood. Let's go."

Jessie and I gathered our bags and headed out towards the next lesson. I cringed, secretly hoping that the school fire alarm would sound out and prevent us from attending. There was a short walk to the other side of the building. The rain was pouring heavily outside, the courtyard was flooding and I silently wished I had remembered to bring a coat with me. This was not going to be fun.

Jessie turned to me, " I'm going to grab a drink from the vending machines, I will catch up with you. Okay?"

I nodded to her. " Sure, see you in a minute."

She walked away, leaving me to face the drenching torrents by myself. I tried to cover my head with my library book and made a quick dash across the area, dodging the puddles to spare my newly bought school shoes. I made it half way across the yard, my clothes already becoming damp when I saw a something dark in the corner of my vision by the benches to my left. A quick look made me notice a lone figure sat on one of the wooden seats, unfazed by the water that practically drenched him from head to toe. It poured off of him in rivulets, making his long hair look dark and like rat tails. He was sat hunched over with his face staring at the ground beneath his feet. His school jacket was gone leaving him wearing just his white shirt which was now clinging to his skin.

A second glance and I recognised him.

It was the boy from the bus this morning, the one who had been bullied. What was his name again? What had they called him? Jacky-boy. Oh yes, that's right... Jack?

He wasn't aware of my presence a few metres away from him. So deep in his thoughts I doubt he was even aware that the bell had rung.

My clothes were getting wetter, chilling me. I took another step aiming to head inside where it was warmer, but I hovered, turning again to stare at him. A stab of pity shot through me. I was half tempted to approach him and half tempted to just leave him, to not intrude on his solitude.

I coughed lightly, hoping the sound would draw his attention up. When he did not move concern rolled through my gut, causing me to move towards him slowly, somewhat hesitantly. Even as I drew close and stood a few steps beside him he never acknowledged my existence or looked up.

"Hey." I said quietly, but loud enough that he would definitely hear me.

There was no answer or movement from him.

"Hey." I tried again, much louder, drawing closer. "Are you... OK?"

My voice wavered, anticipating him to tell me to go away and mind my own business. Yet still he did not look up to me.

"It's raining."

Well done Jenny, I chided to myself silently.Point out the obvious why don't you.

I shivered, growing impatient as he continued to ignore me.

It was then I noticed the blood.

"Oh my god," I moved closer, my eyes wandering over the patches of red that stained his shirt and hands. " What happened to you."

My heart went out to him; this silent boy who was like a statue before me. The blood did not come from his hands, they were stained as though he had been wiping at a wound somewhere. His face perhaps?

Without thinking I reached out a tentative hand and my fingers brushed the dripping strands of his hair away from one side of his face to reveal a raw mess of torn flesh and new bruising on his cheek. His nose dripped crimson down his chin. He seemed unfocused and uncaring of his injuries. It was only when my hand touched the cool surface of his skin did his dark eyes look up and snap to mine, stilling my movements instantly.

For what seemed like a long time we simply stared at one another. His eyes were brown, eerily empty, making them appear almost black. I got a good look at his features and saw that under the messy nest of his hair he was in fact rather handsome. His skin was smooth, if pale. His features slender and angular, showing signs of a boy in the process of becoming a man. He did not smile, he did not flinch at my touch or move away. He only stared at me, a hollow glassy look in his eyes. I saw nothing in them, yet at the same time I saw everything. All the pain and torment he was feeling. The rain, the blood, the cold wind all fell away until there was only us two remaining. My chest tightened responding to him in ways I could not fathom or understand. I recognised a part of myself in him. I was determined to help him; no one should be alone like this. I had been hesitant to help him earlier this morning and the guilt had haunted me. Now we were alone together and I would not turn away this time.

We said nothing to one another. No words were needed.

With swift movements I shook off my uniform jacket and placed it over him, trying to cover him. It was a pitiful attempt as it was small in size, barely enough to cover his wide shoulders. I placed my shoulder bag upon the bench beside him and rustled through it to pull out a packet of tissues. I dabbed lightly at his cheek and handed him another.

"Here." His fingers were limp in mine as I pressed the tissue into them. "Your nose is a mess, it's still bleeding a little. Was it the boys from this morning? Did they do this? Do you need me to take you to the nurse? My name is Jennifer by the way. You are Jack, right?"

I was too focused on what I was doing and rambling on that I did not notice his eyes were still steadily on me, watching me until the heavy silence caused me to look his way. I could not read his expression, it was so closed and masked that I felt uneasy and anxious.

I licked my lips nervously and moved my hand away from him, thinking that perhaps my touch was unwelcome and he just wanted me to leave him alone. That he did not want my help.

" S...Sorry." I stammered, grabbing my bag but not before pulling something from the front pocket. "I know it's none of my business. I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable, but please you need to see the nurse. You should talk to a teacher."

Once again he said nothing to me and I took this as my cue to leave. His stare was making me feel uncomfortable.

I handed him what was in my hand; a row of band aids. I had carried them with me just in case my new shoes rubbed and caused blisters. He needed them more than me.

" I hope you feel better soon."

After shoving them quickly into his hand I spun on my heel and headed away towards my lesson. Jacket forgotten and not a single word of thanks uttered from him, I all but ran into the school building and nearly bumped into Jessie as I leapt through the glass doors.

" Jesus, Jen!" Jessie said, surprised at my sudden appearance. Her gaze wandered over my drenched uniform and sodden appearance. " Where have you been? What happened to your jacket?"

I sighed and just shrugged.

"It's a long story. I will tell you later."

-o-o-o-  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
-o-o-o-

The rest of the day seemed to fly by. For most of it, my mind kept wandering back to the boy, Jack, who I had met earlier in the courtyard. My mind kept replaying over and over the interaction we shared and his lack of communication. He was certainly a strange one. As the final bell rang to signal the end of the day everyone grabbed their things and in a wave of moving bodies made their way out of the building to head for home. After saying goodbye to Jessie I made my way to my bus and with a quick flash of my pass to the driver I took my usual seat by the window four rows down from the front. It was still raining although now it was more of a light drizzle compared to earlier. The droplets misted up the window with condensation. I shivered despite the soothing warmth of the heater by my feet and drew my arms tighter around my body. My shirt had barely dried out properly since earlier. I was just hoping I would not catch a cold from it in a few days time.

I pulled out my phone and plugged in my earphones. Various students wandered onto the bus and took their seats. The engine thrummed into life preparing to start leaving the stop and begin the short journey home.

I sensed rather than saw someone slide into one of the seats behind me. I thought nothing of it and turned to stare out of the window. In its reflection I could briefly make out the person sat behind me and I paused. My eyes met with dark brown ones across its misted surface like a hazy mirror.

It was him. Jack.

He was sat there quietly, seeming to stare out at the world just like I was. I could see there was a band-aid across the side of his cheek and something in me responded in seeing it there. The moment out gazes locked he did not look away and neither did I. We sat that way for a good five minutes before I began to feel uneasy by his unblinking focus on me. There was something both intriguing and unsettling about him; his quiet and somewhat cold demeanour. I turned my face away looking toward the other side of the bus. The rest of the journey was heavy with silence. I could still feel his eyes on me and I began to feel anxious, trying to figure out what he must be thinking. He was so hard to read and understand.

My drop off point drew close and as the vehicle rolled to slow stop I grabbed my things and made my way down the aisle towards the front. I stepped off. Luckily for me, the bus stopped only a few houses down away from my own house. As I started to move away I heard steps as someone also stepped off behind me. I glanced back, only find Jack walking behind me.

My unease increased tenfold. What was he doing? Was he following me? The thoughts whirled around my mind and I began to pick up the pace almost at a run to make it home. My heart hammered, my anxiety soared through the roof. I reached the gate to my yard, nearly crashing through it as I turned to look back to see if my follower was behind me.

He wasn't, but what I did see shocked me.

The boy, Jack, was on the other side of the street. His shoulders hunched making his tall frame seem shorter. His bag hanging low on his back. His long hair shielding his features. His dark eyes briefly darted to me before completely dismissing me as though with disinterest. He passed a few more houses down.

I watched him, my curiosity piqued. He turned, stepping up towards the house at number fifty. It was a shabby looking house with an ill-kept garden, overgrown with grass and a boarded up window. He moved up the steps and just like that walked up into the house.

I was beyond surprised. Not only had I not known much about him before today, but I also hadn't noticed he was a local in the neighbourhood. Every morning we got the same bus. Every day we walked the same neighbourhood. I wasn't one for going outside or hanging out with friends, I mainly stayed at home. Even still... why hadn't I noticed him before? The house he entered was merely six or seven houses down from mine only on the opposite side of the street.

Jack was one of my neighbours.

-o-o-o-


End file.
